FEAR OF NIGHT-TIME
Since I was a little girl, I was taught to fear night. It was that moment of the day when I had to take shelter and find a safe place in which to protect myself. Protect me from what? I still didn’t know. Protecting myself from the night was one of those abstract concepts that adults name but don’t describe. So I spent my childhood nights in private, contained places. It started out at my house, then my relatives’ houses; always with family, never with strangers.
Over the years, society also reinforced that idea to me that, during night-time, girls and women are too exposed and too vulnerable, and according to society, we must avoid getting out at night alone. Those were the statements I grew up with. So, during my youth I always chose to enjoy the nights in cafes, restaurants and finally at clubs with friends. Always with people I knew, never alone and definitely not in a public space.
During night-time, girls and women are too exposed too vulnerable, and according to society, we must avoid getting out at night alone.
For me, enjoying the night in a public space was limited to special moments of celebration, such as fireworks or tours in December seeing how some corners of the city were transformed into illuminated settings, like something out of a postcard. But even in those moments, we were always aware of “the bad things that can happen at night.” Did I enjoy those special moments? Sure, but always in a contained way, with a fast pace because as my relatives used to say “be out so much time at night, it was not good”.
Over time, the temptation of the night that used to intrigue me as a child and which I was spying on from my house windows, ceased to interest me. I assumed that all this transmitted fear was real and that the idea of a night out in the city only belonged to the bars, cafes, restaurants and theaters. And actually that was enough for me, maybe I wasn’t missing anything. I wanted to be a good girl, behave myself and avoid those tricky situations from getting hurt.
RE-FINDING MY CURIOSITY FOR THE NIGHT
After a few years of university and in those moments of uncertainty about the present and the future, I decided to make a change in my routine. I undertook a trip to another country, without even considering that I had never lived alone, much less in another city that was not the one where I was born. My vision was quite naive, but in the end, thanks to that naivety, I started my first trip alone.
In the midst of all the changes that decision brought to my daily routine, the biggest change came at night. Yes, the one I was so afraid of. On my long walks alone, I got lost countless times for not seeing the map with the correct directions and the previously chosen route. I got carried away by my instincts and walked many streets only attracted by the colors of the facades, those local craft shops or those small cafes and pastry shops where you fall in love with the colors of their food. Who has not been carried away by that tourist spirit when finding places so strange, but so curious?
Among all those times that I got lost in the city and in time, when night came my alert instinct to look for a safe place was awakened and I hurried to find the nearest subway station or bus stop. But in those journeys, I began to see how some people enjoyed that moment of change when the sunset began and suddenly they seemed to walk more slowly, calmly, something in their face and their routine changed.
When I returned to feel that curiosity at night that I had put aside years ago, I began to notice how the older people sat on the park benches to tell those past life stories with mischievous smiles like children. Those parks between dim light and shadows, was the ideal setting to tell those mischief. Also, those who were leaving work sat on the terraces to have a coffee to avoid the tumult of rush hour in public transport and to take a break after a busy day. At that moment, I was finding by myself that night was far from being that scary place I was told.
THE MAGIC OF SHARING THE NIGHT WITH STRANGERS
And so little by little, I gave myself the freedom to lose myself more often in the city, to stay until a little later in the parks and to sit on those terraces to see how people enjoyed this space that I used to fear. At that moment I felt safe being away from home, nobody could judge me. In that place, girls and women were freer, so independent. I admired that confidence, that one that I had never felt before in my whole life.
On those nights as a spectator, I found the magic of seeing highly skilled characters, while flaunting their skills to juggle fire. I saw how the faces of the closest spectators lit up with the light emitted by those fire props, while those farther away disappeared into the shadows and only appeared when their applause of admiration was heard. This is how I discovered that the night is also enjoyed with strangers, with shared urban stories.
Not only did the parks change, so did the rest of the city. Historic buildings and the most emblematic ones were delicately illuminated and the others were disappearing into the shadows. It was as if someone had decided what I was allowed to see and what not. The city was different, but not the scary one that I imagined. It was just another side of itself, a little more serene, a little more leisurely. Between the light and the shadow, the city managed to highlight only what it wanted to show and hide what it only allowed us to see during the daytime.
After that experience, I started feeling more confident about travelling and being alone in the city. I do not know how to ride a bike or to drive a car, but I realized that I can walk the cities streets at my own pace and make my own road. So as I did, we should allow ourselves to have the freedom to explore our cities and find our space in the night.
From this story like many others, Nighttime Traveller was born. This is an initiative that invites us to explore the urban night with different eyes, to get away from the prejudices that lead us avoiding public spaces at night and ultimately, to change the perception of insecurity that makes us walk faster, be defensive and direct our gaze to the ground as we walk through the night. Nighttime Traveller invites us to inhabit the night, to transform the urban spaces that we travel daily and give them a new meaning.
I do not know how to ride a bike or to drive a car, but I realized that I can walk the cities streets at my own pace and make my own road.
Finally, with this first story, I invite you to awaken your curiosity about the new uses that we can give to public space. I hope you get inspired by photos and stories that I will continue sharing about different urban spaces at night. Places in which citizens like us experience the city through tourists eyes, that curious look that we forget with routine. And so, let’s bring to life these places that we avoid at night and begin to experience the night.
Night-time traveller
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